The Health Reset Podcast
"Beyond the headlines: the health reset podcast dives deep into the fascinating world of knowledge and how it can empower you to create lasting change."
The Health Reset Podcast
Overcoming Negativity Bias: Rewiring Your Mind for Positivity and Emotional Freedom
Ever wondered why those negative memories linger in your mind longer than the good ones? Our latest episode explores this gripping phenomenon known as negativity bias, where our brains are hardwired to prioritize the bad over the good for survival reasons. We dig deep into fascinating research and share personal anecdotes, like Sarah's vivid memory of a childhood fall compared to the hazy recollections of her honeymoon, to illustrate how this ancient mechanism still influences us today. Get ready to learn effective strategies for rewiring your brain to focus on positive memories and transform your outlook on life.
In the second half of our discussion, we unpack the emotional baggage that keeps us tethered to the past. Through the compelling stories of individuals like John, a cancer survivor defining himself by his illness, and Maria, who struggles to move past a family feud, we reveal how unresolved emotions shape our identities and relationships. Discover how tools like therapy and journaling can help you acknowledge, process, and ultimately release these emotions, guiding you toward a more present-focused and balanced mindset. Whether you're haunted by past mistakes or clinging to difficult labels, this episode offers valuable insights for breaking free and moving forward.
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All right. So today we're going to do a deep dive into something pretty heavy actually Letting go. Why it's so hard to let go of past hardships? Everyone's been there, absolutely Right. Like you know, some of them are small, some are huge, life-altering events, but we're going to try to get into the nitty-gritty of it. We've got some really fascinating research here and, you know, I think it's going to be eye opening for a lot of people. Did you know that our brains are actually hardwired to remember negative events more strongly than positive ones?
Speaker 2:It's called the negativity bias.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, negativity bias. It's crazy, right it really is.
Speaker 2:And you know, when you think about it from an evolutionary perspective, it makes sense Back in the day, like way back. You know perspective. It makes sense Back in the day, like way back. You know caveman days remembering where that saber-toothed tiger was lurking. That was way more important for survival than, say, remembering a tasty berry patch. You know.
Speaker 1:So basically, like our brains are still kind of stuck in that fight-or-flight mode, even though most of us aren't running from tigers anymore.
Speaker 2:Exactly, it's this ancient alarm system that hasn't quite caught up with modern life.
Speaker 1:Right, right, but that doesn't really help us when we're like dwelling on a mistake at work or, you know, replaying that awkward conversation from last week over and over.
Speaker 2:Exactly so. Knowing about the negativity bias is a great first step, but we need tools to actually you know deal with it.
Speaker 1:One thing that can really help is actively focusing on positive memories, like making a conscious effort yeah, write them down in a journal, talk about them with friends oh, that's a good idea it's like you're training your brain to give those good memories equal weight so basically rewiring those neural pathways exact, I like that taking control instead of letting the negativity bias, you know, call the shots. You know. It reminds me of Sarah's story. She wrote in saying she can still remember falling off her bike when she was like eight years old, but she can barely remember any details from her honeymoon last year.
Speaker 2:It's like our brains are Velcro for the bad and Teflon for the good.
Speaker 1:It's so true though.
Speaker 2:But you know that negativity bias it can even seep into how we see ourselves. Like you know John, who is a cancer survivor he's been in remission for like 10 years but he still introduces himself as a cancer survivor first and foremost.
Speaker 1:It's like that experience, as difficult as it was, has become a part of his identity.
Speaker 2:Right and in some ways it can be empowering right. It shows strength, resilience.
Speaker 1:But is there a point where it becomes, I don't know, unhealthy?
Speaker 2:That's a great question and I think it's different for everyone. Sometimes, holding onto those labels can keep us stuck in the past, prevent us from moving forward.
Speaker 1:So it's about finding a balance right, acknowledging those experiences but not letting them define us entirely.
Speaker 2:Exactly, and sometimes you know it's not about a label or an identity, it's just that we can't seem to shake off a past hurt.
Speaker 1:Like Maria, who wrote in about this argument she had with her sister Months ago. It's over, but she's still replaying it in her head constantly. Can't let go of the anger.
Speaker 2:That brings up the issue of unresolved emotions and you know, sometimes we need to actively process those emotions to really truly move on.
Speaker 1:But how do we do that?
Speaker 2:Well, the first step is acknowledging and naming those emotions. Don't judge yourself for feeling them. You know, like if you're feeling angry, say OK, I'm feeling angry, and then maybe try to understand why.
Speaker 1:So don't bottle it up.
Speaker 2:No, and journaling can help. Talking to a therapist.
Speaker 1:Yeah, having that safe space to like actually let it out. Exactly, I think. Sometimes, you know, we hold on to those past experiences because we think if we keep thinking about them we can somehow prevent them from happening again.
Speaker 2:That's actually a really common response to trauma. Take Tom, for example. He was in a really bad car accident a few years ago. Now he's hypervigilant when he drives.
Speaker 1:He's shaking his mirrors, yeah.
Speaker 2:Exactly. He's constantly on edge, afraid of another accident, and it's exhausting for him.
Speaker 1:It's like his way of trying to control the uncontrollable.
Speaker 2:Right, and on the other hand you have Lisa. She made a mistake at work a while back and she just can't stop replaying it in her head.
Speaker 1:Oh yeah, the rumination thing.
Speaker 2:Exactly so. You see, we have Tom, who's terrified of the future.
Speaker 1:And Lisa, who's stuck in the past.
Speaker 2:And both of them are struggling to let go.
Speaker 1:And sometimes it's not just an individual thing either. Right, Like whole communities can get stuck in the past.
Speaker 2:You're absolutely right. Think of a town that had a major factory shutdown maybe decades ago. That event can cast a long shadow. It can shape conversations, local politics, even how young people see their futures.
Speaker 1:So the weight of that past event becomes like a shared burden.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:And you know, I think it's important to acknowledge that sometimes those past hardships, especially trauma, they can actually leave a physical mark on us.
Speaker 2:Right. This is where neurology comes in. Trauma can actually change the structure of the brain, particularly areas that deal with stress and emotion.
Speaker 1:It's not just an abstract feeling. It's like a physical change.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It reminds me of Mike, who wrote to us about his experiences after serving in combat. He has a really hard time with loud noises, now Fireworks. Even just a car backfiring, it sends him right back.
Speaker 2:That's because the trauma actually changed his brain's fear center, the amygdala.
Speaker 1:And sometimes holding on to the past is about more than just the event itself. It's about seeking justice, validation.
Speaker 2:Right. Like Karen, who wrote in about being unfairly fired from her job, she's been fighting to clear her name, to get someone to admit they were wrong.
Speaker 1:She needs that acknowledgement to be able to move on.
Speaker 2:And that's totally understandable. Sometimes letting go requires that external validation and a sense of closure. Exactly.
Speaker 1:So we've talked about, like brain wiring, identity, unresolved emotions, fear, rumination, social influences, physical changes and the need for justice. Is there anything else? Is that everything? What else makes letting go so hard?
Speaker 2:Well, we can't forget about avoidance. Sometimes the pain of confronting a past trauma is so intense that we just avoid it altogether. You know, we push it down. Try not to think about it.
Speaker 1:Like Peter, who just completely shuts down whenever anyone mentions his parents' divorce. He's trying to protect himself, but it's not really helping him. Heal.
Speaker 2:Right Avoidance is a natural coping mechanism, but eventually we have to face those difficult emotions to truly move forward.
Speaker 1:So the takeaway here is that there are so many reasons why letting go is hard, and it's not about just telling ourselves to get over it.
Speaker 2:Exactly.
Speaker 1:There are real underlying reasons, and understanding those reasons is the first step to finding healthier ways to cope.
Speaker 2:I completely agree.
Speaker 1:So, to everyone listening, we want to leave you with this what hardship are you holding on to and what might help you begin to let it go? Maybe think back to some of the things we've talked about today and, until next time, keep exploring, keep asking those questions.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. See you later, see you next time, bye, bye.